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i am october's love letter to novemberhopeful,
so the same and stretched out like skin over bone,
but different because one means everything and
one takes everything away.
i am not used to this kind of way,
the way where scratches don't heal and bruises grow bigger.
i try to focus on the bass and let the music pulse through me,
allow it to remove the nerve endings to my thoughts
because i want hair that's made up of bass clefs and double stops.
i want the world to come crashing down at my feet
so the ocean fuses with the burning salmon sun-drops that are molding under the collapsing sky.
it will look like citrus fruit bleeding onto royal blue flowing skirts,
it will taste like a cold copper penny,
it will smell like ripe coconut milk braided with kerosene,
and it will feel like you've been bathing in hummingbird nectar that's been set on fire.
then again, how would i know what music tastes like,
it's not like you can lick vocal chords or bite into someone's vibrato,
everything fluctuates and now i don't even know
A Rush of Blood, The Way Love AchesI feel him feeling me
and then I feel him letting go,
fingertips slip away from my skin,
and my ribs are left with a ghost's impression,
vertical lines run up and down my thighs
and the sun kisses the small of my back,
my blood, oh, my blood,
it runs red as my sins,
my legs break at the synapses
but I can feel the moon putting me back together,
the darkness pulls me but I am no longer afraid,
something tells me I've been here before,
fresh meat, no longer fresh, but tender,
now I'm flipping through the pages of his mind,
but I've found his heart has it's own set of teeth,
for he has latched onto me with leechy fangs
that fall hard against my neck like torrential rain,
my body shivers under chemistry's touch,
helium, krypton, cadmium,
he melts me down,
the way his atoms interact with mine,
but science can't give reason for this kind of state,
the one where bodies are abandoned
and souls catch fire in a colliding wind,
I can feel his essence become mine
and I let go,
I don't need logic w
EraseYour hand against the small of my back
sends my body into shivers,
like an early morning fog on the water
you float above my skin,
but there's tension in the air,
waiting for the sun to break,
to spill a fresh, golden milk
upon our aching joints,
upon your tender salmon lips,
ripe for the plucking,
maybe I'll carve coyotes into your calves,
paint rabbits on the underside of your tongue,
and sketch raccoon tails on your forearms,
then, finally, I will write empty, hollow words against
the pulsing walls of your chalkboard heart.
Sun Dirt KissesI'm getting used to
the way our lips
indentations and teeth,
there are inhalations
and then there are not,
his fingertips trace over my clavicle
and rake over my ribs like piano keys,
my hands find his hair
and I can't let go,
he presses his cheek to my palm with his eyes closed
and I can feel his skin sparking against mine,
I lose my mind and I lose my mouth,
I go to speak and nothing comes out,
then his lips form math equations
that seem only to be able to be solved
with a kiss,
the sunlight and the dirt holds us here,
so we fall into the arms of the earth
and I think I might be ok if it never let go.
What she asks me (to my sister)She asks me why I'm crying
and I say it's because I miss you.
How can she not see that?
She tells me that the bird that flew into the house
was tied to her own symbolic death.
She gave up what she knew
but she still hasn't given up control
and so the world pushes her
and pushes her,
the house floods,
she breaks her toe,
she says it was pointing straight up to the ceiling,
she stepped on glass,
she doesn't sleep
and she doesn't sleep,
she calls me,
cries to me,
she misses the dogs
and she is angry because she doesn't understand,
but I don't understand either or at least in ways she would want to hear,
I tell her I am here for her,
I tell her that I will never judge,
I wish I could make things ok,
but I can't fix this
and I can't make anything any better,
I can only listen and tell her I miss you
when she asks me why I am crying.
To Love a WolfI. Lust is a skin disease,
your skin on mine,
our forearms brush
and harmonies fall hard on our backs,
the air runs thick through our opaque paper lungs
as we move in forests of wild bamboo and ripened fruit,
there is an art to being succulent,
ready to be plucked from an orchard tree
as an apple,
as a tangerine,
as a cherry.
II. Love lies in the mind,
in the heart,
a subtle pull, a tug,
and I'm writhing on the floor in heaps of untamed emotion,
to say I love you?
the empathy rolls off my tongue like my own saliva,
I've started swallowing chameleon hearts to blend with the earth,
but you can still see me,
for I never fell for you,
I rise and have risen,
with you, a wolf, I have howled,
the moon has sewn your veins into mine
so not only is this passion, this is love.
CrispTell me you love me
the way you love the sky when it rains.
Would that be a lie?
Then move on, move away,
let my clouds thunder
and my blood pour,
I am sick of this weather
but I'm even more sick of you;
diseased with a molding horizon
dancing along my hips,
I am ready for winter
so let it snow, bitch.
Tick, TockTo be honest, from the first day we met I knew you were going to be important to me. I don't usually get struck by people the way you struck me. Now it's more like the way you make me tick and I'm sitting here wondering if you even look at the clock. Tick, tock, tick, tock. That's the sound of seconds thrumming by alongside my heartbeats. I can't help but think that I might love you and how ridiculous a thought to have. How am I supposed to know this when I don't even trust myself? I'm second-guessing, under-estimating, and over-thinking. I just get lost in the way your touch takes control, causing me to lose any capacity to think, at least rationally. It's like the whole world vanishes and I'm sinking into your skin like sand. You take me away from anything real and that thrills me because I'm foolish and it scares me because it does. My common sense has dissapeared in your arms and my worry in your smile. That's why it pains me to be this patient and I don't know if it will ever be w
I let the water take controlIt's been awhile since I've been underwater,
so I drew myself a bath
and let the water rush itself into the tub
like blood to the brain,
as it pooled into the fiberglass basin
I felt the tides start to rise
while the pond I created began to
encase every limb,
my lips brushed against the water
in a liquidated kiss
and my blonde locks melted into the sea
as if my name were Medusa and
my strands of hair were snakes,
but my body dissolved into what it used to be,
I became the water and the water became me.
Our LoveEven the strongest winds cannot move such little things
Like the smooth pebbles on soft sand
Maybe our love?
If it was large
It would be easier to get carried away in the wind
But what if it had weight
As heavy as star
Reflected by the seas
Then wouldn't it get washed away or extinguished?
So maybe a pyramid
High into the sky
But how would we be able to climb it?
How about a small scarlet glass heart
Maybe thats how our love is
It's not incredible
It simple but works
Sonnet IIIWhat a woeful waste of time she said
As she grimaced at my youthful verse,
Foolish is the work that forgets the purse
For every man ought to earn his bread,
And saying no more she quietly fled
Away from my pen's impalpable curse,
For when my mind in muses did immerse
Alas! I confess she was to me; dead.
While her beauty was still untouched by time,
The years would in time play their timeless part,
And how cruel be I to love her prime
And upon its ruin, listlessly restart,
Instead I dwell upon the ageless rhyme
For this airy heart belongs to the art.
Hell's pressure.When she was alone,
she lost herself.
The same way god lost me.
The putrid ghost,
he murdered her,
and dropped her body in the sea.
I longed and searched for that innocence,
but she was nowhere to be found.
It's almost like my childhood
was pilfered without a sound.
When he dropped her in she struggled,
she fought she cried and screamed.
Alas all good is weak yet lovely.
Alas she is only a long lost dream.
Now they drag my body out of water,
and I feel like I am breathing.
I cut myself on this evil world,
and I cannot halt the bleeding.
It's done with I'm done with I'm sick.
All my faith was washed out at sea.
All alone and in company I lost myself.
The same way your god lost me.
Just Another Lonely Night
I'm torn apart
Your games been played
You've won again
Brutality at its finest
A black hole in place
Of what had me whole
Searing pain of death, alive
Tearing another hole
Your bullet hits home
Eternal loversIn the dark, dark night,
hiding from any source of light,
two lovers hold their hands tight.
Like that night in the past,
thinking their love would always last.
Their feelings and passion so vast.
How very wrong they were.
They didn't know how or where,
but destiny knew the end was there.
They used to laugh together
and dance at the music whenever,
but music ceased and laughter stopped forever.
Affection turned into coldness,
and into rage what used to be harmless.
And at last, love turned into darkness.
Now there is no tomorrow,
all that's left is sadness and sorrow.
Where once was a heart it is now hollow.
That night, the night of their downfall,
that night when destiny finished it all.
Rage and fighting, they took each other's soul.
Soon they realized their mistake,
but death was there their lives to take.
One last wish they were granted to make.
To lie forever next to each other,
holding the hand of their lover.
Their wish was granted, the night was over.
In the dark, dark night,
wanderlust and found hearts in my dreams we're holding hands
with our fingers ribbon-laced
we're jumping off these martian cliffs
wrapped in sunlight's embrace
we're diving in poseidon's sea
where life source abundantly flows
we're sharing secrets with the stars
gazes transfixed on heaven's glow
i find no better company
to travel with eternally
than you who makes me see
how much beauty lies in me
we soar across the nebulae
and i hold my heart in hand
how i wish i could save some stardust
as if sparkling specks of sand
to land with you on planet venus
and be struck by eros' arrows
would complete my life's desires
to still be rubbing nose to nose
even after all our teeth expire
Who's That Girl?Who's that girl?
With the bloody nose
And a broken heart
But nobody knows
How she's suffered
How she's cried
When she's left alone
And her dreams had died
Who's that girl?
All by herself
Who hides her feelings
On a shelf
Who is she
What's her name
It's a crime
And a shame
That when that girl
There's not a friend
For her to be found
That girl is crying
But no one cares
The world turns
Its face unawares
She's looking for love
She wants a friend
She has high hopes
But in the end
She's left with nothing
She's flat on her back
Her heart just broke
With a loud crack
But no one heard it
No one cares
No one knows
The pain she bears
Who is that girl
Why is she here
Why do her eyes
Start to tear
What's wrong with her
Why is she sad
Is her life
Really that bad
It doesn't matter
Who really cares
About the pain
That girls bears
BabyWe can make friction baby,
we can stay up all night.
Kiss my skin baby,
hold me tight.
Let's create tension baby,
let's cut it with a knife.
Come here closer baby,
I want to feel your breath.
Touch me there baby,
it'll make everything right.
We don't have to figure out everything now baby,
It can wait.
Those Eyes of YoursWhen she thought nothing was going right,
getting pushed around,
She was was so worn, beaten down
She looked into your eyes.
And she knew
that the simple three words were so hard to say.
She thought she loved you.
You looked at her like no one had before.
As if she were human,
not an animal, a freak.
You made her feel amazing-
so that she couldn't collect enough thoughts to even speak.
It was such a beautiful thing.
The girl was so hard to crack from the shell
of which she hid in.
But you were kind, so the cage doors fell.
You made her something that she had never been.
You were so..different from the others.
You didn't hurt her.
The two of you were in the wrong time and place.
And it seemed so hard to face,
that those blue eyes you hid behind
made something that was so horrible, again kind.
And sometimes that's all there isOnce there was a young girl who believed in three things: breathing, dying, and true love. Three basic things, that shouldn't be too difficult. What she didn't realize was that they are all intertwined. We breathe to escape death, while we also breathe to die. Then true love gives us breath, but true love lost causes us to die even slower and painfully so. No, she did not know it then but she most certainly does now; for she has breathed and loved and died all at once and then altogether. Inhaling only to exhale, breathing only to love, and loving only to die.
Hath No FearGiving yourself completely up to fear is kinda like falling in love: You can't pin point exactly when it started and by the time you realize that you are surrounded by that sensation it's already game over. Just like the image of the person you are in love with starts creeping out from every unexpected corner, fear never leaves your side when you give it a welcome stay. After a restless sleep, it starts beating anxiously in your heart the moment you wake up in the morning and commands all your thoughts and actions throughout the day. It is nothing short of a prison, except you are the only inmate and the warden never takes a break. Ever.
I do not exactly remember when I let fear occupy my being but I remember the exact moment when I realized I was ruled by it. It was late in the afternoon, everybody was out there 'getting busy living' and I had locked myself inside my bed half awake, not particularly finding any valid reason to get out of it. Then I was awakened from a nightmare by my
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Lilyas has dedicated herself to making our community a brighter place with her vibrant artwork and infectious enthusiasm for interacting with others in our community. It has certainly paid off, as many deviants flock to her page on a daily basis to let her know how much of an inspiration she is. We absolutely agree, and couldn't let all that hard work go without recognition, so it's with great pride that we bestow the Deviousness Award for March 2014, to ... Read More