deviant art

Deviant Login Shop
 Join deviantART for FREE Take the Tour
[x]
Download File
HTML, 783 bytes
more ▶

More from ~blackdahlia911

Featured in Groups:

Details

September 5, 2012
783 bytes
Link
Thumb

Statistics

Comments: 8
Favourites: 11 [who?]

Views: 80 (0 today)
Downloads: 5 (0 today)
[x]

it's one of those

goldfish bowl empty afternoons,

dehydrated,

gills grasping for water,

fresh daylight

spilling over my aquatic limbs,

so thin boned and cold-blooded,

swordfish lips so sworn to

seahorse secrets,

i cannot see a way out of drowning

in all of this

open air,

my fins lie still

as does my two-chambered heart,

you never actually did need any bate,

i hooked myself,

then released my own salty ghost,

you only just laid me out to dry,

gutted and seizing.
:iconblackdahlia911:

i don't know why i wrote this
Add a Comment:
 
love 0 0 joy 0 0 wow 1 1 mad 0 0 sad 0 0 fear 0 0 neutral 0 0
:icon0hgravity:
*0hgravity Sep 9, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
I liked how clear the feeling of this is - harsh, cold and vulnerable.

a nice piece, especially in the beginning.

I wonder, were you going for a play-on-words with "bate"?
Reply
:iconblackdahlia911:
Thank you! And I accidentally just spelled that wrong but never got around to changing it hahaha probably should fix that soon!
Reply
:iconcelestialmemories:
Mood: Wow! ~CelestialMemories Sep 5, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
This was so fantastic and beautiful The imagery and symbolism really took my breath away.
Reply
:iconblackdahlia911:
Wow! Thank you so much, those are such nice compliments :heart: I really wasn't sure how I felt about this one or if it gave off enough feeling
Reply
:iconcelestialmemories:
~CelestialMemories Sep 6, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
You are very welcome!!
Reply
:iconthesquareroot:
*thesquareroot Sep 5, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
excellent continuity
Reply
:iconthesquareroot:
*thesquareroot Sep 6, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
no problem :XD:
Reply
Add a Comment: