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ValentineIts first syllable is my shy bitten lip; the lush crash of our tongues.
Its breathless cusp, the start of that kiss.
if you'll be mine,
Its day and month are the lines in a sonnet; the sum of our union.
Quadrennial leap, intercalary beat.
is your resign,
my valentine -
when the day it brings,
not a gathering of flowers;
but verse that sings
how to make mine ours:
Ten fingers to
The Hottest 30 DaysThe traffic never bothered him until he had nowhere to go.
It took two hours to get across town and he forgot the applications.
There wasn't snow on the ground, so he pulled over
and parked in a tow away zone. He walked around
the center of that city and thought about his father standing in line
with him at the Hartford shopping mall twenty seven years earlier
in the town where he grew up.
It's Christmas time and all of the other children are
pissing themselves with anticipation.
Over the scent of plastic evergreens and candy canes,
his father still smells like motor oil and top shelf bourbon.
The Diary: last goodbyes The Final day
It was finally the graduation ceremony
a moment to be looking forward to... &
i've ripped my lips from every burned thought.iii. my feet and hands
are always cold,
will always be cold.
i. i ransack memories
i thought i'd burned them all,
turned them all to ash,
and placed them in tupperware containers -
each one neatly labeled with dates
and numbered with catastrophes.
i shoved them all in freezers -
saving them for lovelier days,
thinking i've never deserved
anything better than freezer burn
to sustain me.
iv. my limbs are blue and reek of stale air.
my nose and tongue are covered in frost
and my lips are painted
v. i will trace new memories,
on your skin with my lips,
and pray i won't need
to burn those too.
thoughts in my ankles 1.
sometimes i think i must be hanging
with hooks in my ankles
and chains strung to the stars, arms
wriggling to hug the planet close in
an attempt to reach the
and my eyes are bouncing
out of my head
on twine harnesses like they're
dancing on measuring-tape ribbons
until they slip and plummet and land far
below with a splat.
sometimes i think the moon has an
on a relapse-recovery-relapse
cycle. starving until
he disappears and then, frantically,
he climbs back into life,
gorgeous and round and bright
but the mirror cracks up
fingernailsfingernails have stories. attached
to the phalange. attached to palm.
thumbs mean good things
but the lonely index is like a toddler
[choose me. point. pick me. point
it was him. it was her. point. jab. kill]
caress with palm [bump. by bump. by crinkle]
scrape up the excess drippy-drop dead
constantly dragging over the cheeks.
such high. high cheeks. like a movie star
[sucked out. hollow. no-lunch-for-you dreamer]
she's really a model without the paint thinn
i want you because i shouldn't want you at all
i want you like i want succulent strawberries dripping over a white lacy dress,
i want you like i want complete silence on a sweltering august night,
i want you like it's dead rats melting over hot gutters and then it's your hot guts on my body.
i want you and your collarbones tied to my strings of saliva,
i want you smelling like you're some wild wolverine with incisors as sharp as rose petals,
i want you broken and bleeding just so i can nourish your wounds.
i want you dangerously close and always so,
i want you angry as you are passionate,
i want you in ways i don't even understand.
Smell it upon thy nose
As lungs of graphite
Breathe in the body
Shapely and refined
Crisp and sharp
Verily it is so
Perchance we will meet
Our souls are black
Rotten to the core
Of our third eye
Dost thou see it!
The bright shining light that calls to us
Flow like water
What music doth flow
Muffled and silenced
By its cage of wood
We shall never break free
Smell our stench of determination
Hear our mutter ramblings
Taste our words as we force them
a silent reminder of
all the nights
she spent in
Plucking PetalsI stand on the edge of the sea,
plucking petals from the flower
in my hands
as they fall and
drift out to sea-
will they bring my true love to me?
Where Light is SwallowedI only step out when no one is coming home
The sun sets, and drags the veil from my eyes
I sink just below your searching lights
There is a heaven in this night
that evacuates my mind into the world around me
Where I'm going, there will be no stopping
I'll glance over my shoulder,
then I'll disappear
And I will Always be the Moon
We have gotten so attached to these days and these months,
but a deer doesn't know a Tuesday from a Thursday
and a caribou can't comprehend that it was born on a September afternoon,
but they can understand this instant, this moment, this breath,
only now, no longer the past, and only the future when they get there,
there's a healthy lack of awareness in that,
escaping the fear of death but thriving off the instinct to live,
everything so primal and based off gut reactions,
I guess you could say ignorance is bliss,
but ignorance only actually applies when it comes to humanity,
oh I would like a life like that,
Hello November,I'd ask you to hold me close but you're so
cold on my skin and as I breathe you in I can feel
my throat thickening and my skin tingling and myself
wishing for someone to take to my grandparents'
I'm quite satisfied these days, I shouldn't complain
but I really can't handle the scent of pina collada
since that got me so drunk that night when my
rat died and my date stood me up and my bag got
stolen and I lost the key to my house. The music
this Halloween was terrible, though nothing
close to terrifying, but November, really, how do I
even dance to hardcore? Because my body doesn't
know the ways and I really, r
What Turns Me Oni. bright cotton candy colors,
so lush and vivid,
I want those pastel pigments
dissolving my taste buds and
brushing over my tongue
like they were made of velvet.
ii. reptilian skin,
those scales so rough
and those alligator teeth
I want those teeth
to take me by the neck,
leaving me with scaling wounds.
iii. blood draws,
being drained of liquid emotion
to come out feeling light headed,
then fucking euphoric
like you're made of stained glass
and the sun is lighting you up
phantom breath igniting your spine,
being cradled in the arms of a shadow,
being grasped by the hands of the wind.
Love is HeartlessYour body against mine,
my heart drops
beneath the weight of your existence,
your hungry eyes gloss over my slender neck
and I can see us falling asleep in bath water
while fall flowers bloom with each breath,
I swear I've never felt this before,
if this isn't love, I don't know what is,
you cross my mind more than you don't
and my entire being hurts when we are apart,
for I want you everyday and each day after that,
I want to be able to fall asleep in your arms,
when I only ever wake to your shadow,
because the sun lives within your skin
and when I say I love you it feels like a sin,
the worst part is, I don't know if you e
This is something I wish weren't trueIt's only 10:30
and I'm in love with a man
who's in love with another woman,
damn my heart for beating this quickly,
I have never felt an emptiness such as this.
Breathe In, I Smell Your SkinI've got an itch
only you can scratch,
so scratch my spine
then leave me breathless,
your limbs curve around mine
like layers of dahlia petals,
we fall into a song and
let the harmony hold us
for we are but willow trees
caught in a heavy wind,
and we've got stars in our mouths,
burning our gums
till they're raw and melting
and hot, hot, hot,
oh, now we're numb to each other
when we used to be electric,
we used to feel with feeling
and tape ourselves together
with strips of our own skin.
I Dream of WolverinesAn alabaster calla lily blooms out of my belly button,
I pull on its vines to remove its roots,
but I only end up more tightly wound
in ribbons of green and of sorrow,
and now I'm sleeping more than I wake,
because I dream of wolverines, long dresses,
and old buildings collapsing like old people,
I can't look away nor can I open my nighttime eyes,
I live in a world of hedonistic passion,
one where we consume salamander hearts
just as much as we consume each other.
EraseYour hand against the small of my back
sends my body into shivers,
like an early morning fog on the water
you float above my skin,
but there's tension in the air,
waiting for the sun to break,
to spill a fresh, golden milk
upon our aching joints,
upon your tender salmon lips,
ripe for the plucking,
maybe I'll carve coyotes into your calves,
paint rabbits on the underside of your tongue,
and sketch raccoon tails on your forearms,
then, finally, I will write empty, hollow words against
the pulsing walls of your chalkboard heart.
the sugar in your smile, the glucose in your bloodIt's searching fingertips,
gingerly placed empty spaces,
and wrong timing,
but now it's I love you, oh wait I really do,
please don't leave me under these carnival lights alone
because I can't bare another day without your syrup sweet blood,
you are the sugar in my coffee
and the honey on my toast,
the candy rotting my teeth,
and the molasses thick air I inhale on summer nights.
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`anmari has been spreading her infectious positivity throughout our community for over 6 years. Throughout this time Ana has been at the core of all things devious, passionately developing an eclectic gallery, helping organise devmeets, participating in chat events and also recently completed dedicating her time as a Community Volunteer. We are absolutely delighted to bestow the Deviousness Award for May 2013 to `anmari, congratulations! Read More