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i. The air is thick and I'm drinking you in like sunlight through a silver straw,
I'm feeling like my spine has come unzipped and my crayola red innards have become exposed to the cool air,
you're like the slivers in my fingers that I can't pull out,
maybe I should try scraping off layers of skin with tweezers,
goodbye dead cells, hello fresh meat,
damn, why are you so fresh as fuck.

ii. A whirlpool has developed beneath my chest so there goes my sense of sanity,
actually it's more like boiling water, bubbling, spewing out passed my eyes,
and all I've been asking for is for you to either take me or let me go,
let's be honest, I could try to say I am over this whole thing
but I'm not and I don't even want to be.

iii. So let's forget the world,
get lost in each others skin,
tracing ribs like jail bars,
running hands over heartbeats,
brushing lips with lonely aches.

not sure why i titled it this, but it just felt right?
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:iconmirageangel21:
MirageAngel21 Featured By Owner Jul 16, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
I agree that your imagery is phenomenal. It's a darkly beautiful piece, really.
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:iconblackdahlia911:
blackdahlia911 Featured By Owner Jul 16, 2012
thank you :heart: i like your phrasing "darkly beautiful" haha :)
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:iconmirageangel21:
MirageAngel21 Featured By Owner Jul 16, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
thanks,lol, and you are most sincerely welcome
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:iconl0ne-w0lf:
L0NE-W0lf Featured By Owner Jul 13, 2012
Lovely piece!
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:iconepiclevelsorcerer:
EpicLevelSorcerer Featured By Owner Jul 11, 2012  Student Writer
This is really good, has a sharp and dark feel to it that so beautiful.
I really liked the third part with its imagery.
After reading this more than once I can start to see that the title does fit.
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:iconblackdahlia911:
blackdahlia911 Featured By Owner Jul 12, 2012
Thank you so much! That is the exact kind of feel I was going for :heart:
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:iconssensory:
ssensory Featured By Owner Jul 9, 2012   Writer
Hope I'm not being rude but I didn't like the "fresh as fuck" simile. Other than that this poem is fantastic and almost perfect. I think this deserves a DD.
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:iconblackdahlia911:
blackdahlia911 Featured By Owner Jul 9, 2012
Oh that's not rude at all haha, I was honestly debating on what to do there because that line kind of just spilled out! But thank you so much, that means a lot! :heart:
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:iconssensory:
ssensory Featured By Owner Jul 9, 2012   Writer
Oh okay =]
You're welcome! I think a lot of your lines were just amazing and I did suggest you for a DD. I hope you get it!
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:iconblackdahlia911:
blackdahlia911 Featured By Owner Jul 9, 2012
Wow, thank you! No one has ever done that before!!!
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:iconssensory:
ssensory Featured By Owner Jul 10, 2012   Writer
You're welcome! I think it really does deserve it. Plus I'm a sucker for these types of poems (not romantic but the way you have it set up with roman numerals).
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:iconflawedfairytale:
flawedfairytale Featured By Owner Jul 7, 2012  Student Writer
Oh, the images are breathtaking- the first line drew me in completely and 'tracing ribs like jail bars' is just brilliant. :heart:
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:iconblackdahlia911:
blackdahlia911 Featured By Owner Jul 7, 2012
thank you so much! that made my day :heart:
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:iconflawedfairytale:
flawedfairytale Featured By Owner Jul 8, 2012  Student Writer
And that's made mine. Bless you :huggle:!!
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:iconlittle-swift:
little-swift Featured By Owner Jul 6, 2012  Student Writer
this is really rather pretty. :heart:
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:iconblackdahlia911:
blackdahlia911 Featured By Owner Jul 6, 2012
thank you so much :heart:
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:iconrose-from-the-ashes:
rose-from-the-ashes Featured By Owner Jul 6, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
This is brilliant... the imagery is refreshlingly unconventional and beautiful
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:iconblackdahlia911:
blackdahlia911 Featured By Owner Jul 6, 2012
thank you so much, that means a lot! :heart:
Reply
:iconarcanabreaker:
ArcanaBreaker Featured By Owner Jul 6, 2012
The imagery here is stunningly beautiful. An amazing piece.
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:iconblackdahlia911:
blackdahlia911 Featured By Owner Jul 6, 2012
thank you, that is so nice of you to say! :heart:
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:iconholdthenoise:
HoldTheNoise Featured By Owner Jul 6, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
This reminds me of Jim Carroll's poetry from The Basketball Diaries :'D Thank you for sharing :love:
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:iconblackdahlia911:
blackdahlia911 Featured By Owner Jul 6, 2012
I don't think I've read those poems, I'll have to look them up!
Thanks for the fave :heart:
Reply
:iconholdthenoise:
HoldTheNoise Featured By Owner Jul 6, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
Anytime~! :D
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